Thanks for the Memories? Not so much

I never thought I'd be were I am today. It's been almost a year since I found out I have HPV. Hopefully not cancer yet but I won't know until December. I never thought I'd have the memories I have. I never wanted to do what I've done and I don't expect the scars to ever fade but they're becoming less prominent. I'm sick of the obsessions and the past. I'm sorry to my parents, mostly. I don't know how they still love me but for some reason they do. I couldn't ask for more than what they've given me. I don't know, maybe I'm just feeling introverted today or maybe it's more the fact that 3 years ago at this time I was already sneaking around, already been on a couple drug deals, already been to parties, been around too many drugs, already a slut, already forgetting everything. One year ago I was thinking about changing my life, but lacking the courage and this year I'm regretting the past and wishing I could fast forward to the future.